Jug O' Pee

When I first found out my mom needed a kidney, like every child would (I should hope)  I offered up one of my own.  Like every concerned mom, she said no way. Her concern was a valid one said her doctor,  but it would be worth it to test me anyway.

Fast forward a month and a few blood tests later. Turns out I am genetically compatible, not a big surprise, she is my mom after all.  I'm handed two large jugs and told that they're for the two twenty-four hour urine samples. So why all the pee? Well, they will be use to find out whether or not my kidney function is normal, or if I have, or may have in the future decreased kidney function. They will also be able to tell if I have hematuria (the presence of blood in the urine ) which is what runs in our family.

No big deal, fill a few jugs over a few days from the privacy of my own home. Small price to pay for a chance to save my moms life.  So... down the hall to the bathroom I walk, jug in hand. Then I pass Joel, and a smile cracks across his face, a chuckle follows. It's not everyday you see someone totting around a jug of  pee like it's their precious liquid. I felt like gollem and his golden ring, my precious..... it's golden too.

 After I do the deed I realized that I wasn't sure where to put it, I read the instructions again. IN THE FRIDGE!!! YUCK!!! You want me to do what. I know it's in a jug, and I did put it in another bag, but there it was every time I opened the door, my pee.

This will be gone in a few days Kelley, I told myself, and it's really not that bad. Peeing in a jug doesn't hurt, hardly a sacrifice. Again I was doing it to save a life, well worth it. But, every time I had to grab the jug and walk down the hall to my bathroom I felt just a little humiliated. Even when Joel wasn't there to have a little fun at my expense. For those of you lady's out there who have ever breast fed your baby and used a pump, you may know how I was feeling. I felt the same way every time I made the long walk, just me and my pump. I would sit in my room, cups suctioned to my boobs, brrr..shuuump...brrr....shuuump. Its amazing how defeated and humiliated one can feel even when no one is around to see. Carrying around a jug of my pee, and putting it in the fridge made me feel the same way. Why? I don't know. It's hard to escape the humor of this scene though. Me, holding my pee jug, trying to get it all in there and not on myself, or the floor. Why would you think that pee on the floor is mine Joel, my aim is great, I think it was you.
 Oh, and the little funnel (called a hat) that they give you to make it easier, yah, they forgot to give me that.  What a hilarious site, Saturday Night Live could have a field day with that scene.

 Now I wait two weeks to find out what the results are. In the mean time, my mom has finished all her tests that the clinic needs. She will be seeing her team the 10th of this month, and a few weeks later, provided all the tests look good, she will be able to receive a transplant. We will wait for all the people that came forward to return their packets and then, if my sister and I are not, we will find a compatible donor, hopefully in one of them, our heroes.